Author Topic: Mailbag: One bold move Buffalo should make for a QB; Gruden's master plan?  (Read 246 times)

Offline linlybest

Quick, name a famous, female Native American. Odds are roughly 110 percent that you said Pocahontas (OK, maybe there was an odd "Sacagawea" in there too).

If you've never heard of Pocahontas, you fail not only at American history but also at Disney princess ology (a surprisingly scholarly field of study), but we'll give you the lowdown anyway. She was the daughter of a Native American chief, and she met up with John Smith and company in the early American settlement of Jamestown. It is also rumored that she could paint with all the colors of the wind.

Matoaka actually had several names. She was a member of the Powhatan tribe, and it was common for the Native Americans in her region to be given a secret "true name" and several personal names. Her secret name was "Matoaka," and her main personal name was "Amonute." For good measure, she also took on the Christian name "Rebecca Rolfe" when she married an Englishman, because the rule in England at the time was that everything had to be as bland as possible.

Oh yeah, that's an improvement.

So where does the name "Pocahontas" come from? According to the early American historian William Smith, it was a nickname given to her by her tribe, "out of a superstitious Fear, lest [the English], by the knowledge of her true Name, should be enabled to do her some hurt." Its meaning? "Little Wanton." Or, to update it to what is probably its modern equivalent, "slut." Yeah, nobody's going to do her any harm with that name.

She probably has to put up with a lot when she goes out to bars, though.

Nickname Means: Man with a huge, ridiculous nose.

That's right: The "Bill" part of his name was just as much a nickname as "Wild"   his full name wasn't William.

As you hopefully know, Wild Bill Hickok is one of the most famous figures to emerge from Cheap Seahawks Jerseys,NFL Seattle Seahawks Team Uniform Wholesale the American Old West, his legend reaching mythical proportions along with those of Wyatt Earp and Billy the Kid (more on the latter in a moment). Hickok fought with the North in the Civil War. He is best known as a gunfighter, a scout, a professional gambler and a lawman. Apparently he had a sort of Dirty Harry thing going on.

"No sir, we do not feel lucky."

There are even court documents to prove it. Apparently the Nebraska courts at the time thought of subpoenas as excellent opportunities for making fun of people. It just goes to prove the old folk saying, "Never upset a stenographer."

The "Wild" part of Hickok's name seems to be his own addition. Tired of people tossing him stale bread wherever he went, he grew a mustache and started insisting that his name was "Wild Bill." In the end, he got the last laugh. Wild Bill carried on a secret affair with Sarah Shull, the mistress of the man who had coined the "Duck Bill" nickname in the first place. That's right, baby! Boning is the best revenge!

"I nailed both of these dudes, too. No, it's not gay. I'm Wild Goddamn Bill."

The legend of Billy the Kid has done so much to make "the Kid" seem like a cool nickname that you kind of lose wholesale nhl jerseys track of how much it sucks.

And we barely know the man's real name. Virtually nothing is known about Billy the Kid's lineage or early life   he simply exploded into history, guns blazing, around the year 1870. However, historians have pieced this much together: Billy the Kid was one of the baddest dudes of the American Old West. He was an outlaw, a horse thief and a killer of at least a few men. He was also the most hardcore guy to come out of New Mexico that side of Val Kilmer.

And poor Val ain't looking so hot these days.

So where does the name "Billy" come from? History offers two versions, neither of them good.

One story suggests that a bartender with a death wish insulted him, saying that he looked like a scared little billy goat (a young goat is called a "kid," as you surely know). Also, he used to have a wispy little goatee beard that, as you can imagine, lent itself to that nickname. We have no way of knowing whether it's true (the "Billy" part would have been there with or without the goat   William was one of his aliases).

Historian Robert M. Utley offers another explanation in his book . Billy had been stealing horses from soldiers and he became known as "Kid Antrim." The "Antrim" bit is one of the last names he went by, and it may or may not have been his real name, but the "kid" part was reportedly because he was a shrimpy, beardless guy.

So history may never know whether Billy the Kid got his nickname from having a babyface or from his resemblance to the garbage eating barnyard animal. Either way, he got burned so bad that his real name was scalded right out of history.

Wouldn't it be nice if that happened again?

The most famous student of Socrates, Plato is virtually synonymous with ancient Greek philosophy. If you've ever taken a class in logic, your professor probably mentioned him at least once. And if you've ever gotten into an argument with a freshman know it all, you probably heard his name at least 1,000 times.

Our first guess was that he thought "Aristocles" sounded too Greek, but that proved to be false. As it turns out, the nickname "Plato" was bestowed by his wrestling coach, Ariston of Argos. It's meaning? "Broad."

"You're getting Plato as ****, Mitch."

There are about how he inexpensive patriots jerseys got this nickname. Some suggest that it was because of his wide forehead (more like a fivehead, right, guys?), or his, ah, robust physique. It has also been suggested that it refers to the breadth of his eloquence, though that sounds a lot like it was made up by Plato himself to try to convince people that he wasn't a weird shape.

He wore the largest helmet possible to compensate.

History remembers Caligula as being absolutely fucking insane, even when compared with other ancient Roman emperors. That's like getting a gold medal at the crazy illness Olympics. Maybe it had to do with his mother's exile while he was still young. Maybe it had to do with all of the lead flavored water he was drinking. Whatever the cause, he is said to have proclaimed himself a god, tried to appoint his horse as a senator and declared war on the ocean.